Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Student Night

Every town or city has one. Its the midweek night when bars and clubs throughout drop their prices lower than the ratings for The Jay Leno Show, to drag in the gullible local students. And they come in droves, sucking down the cheap pitchers of nasty beer like it's their oxygen. But at least you don't feel too guilty, because who can refuse $2 shots of Jose Cuervo. It's like going grocery shopping: you only get what's on sale, not what you actually need.

I'm here to guide you through your way to a successful Student Night and hopefully dispel the inevitable "why did we do that" moment.

First of all, if you live anywhere near a college/university/kids-with-fake-ids then you're going to have a student night. And it is going to be packed, whether it's Orientation Week for the freshmen or finals for the seniors, you can guarantee that half of the university, along with the kids who got jobs and the one's holding fake ids, will be showing off their "best" moves. So ifwhen you hit the town, on your designated Student Night of course, prepared to be mobbed by some of the (questionably aged) sleaziest guys out there.

Secondly, always pre-game. Sure that shot of Cuervo may only be $2 but a shot is only 1.5 fl oz. But that bottle only costs $20 at the most, and makes enough for around 17 shots. That's saving you at least $14. And, hey, that makes more time for burning off those calories dancing, or taking kissy-face photos if you're of the female persuasion.

But, if you do decide to forgo my advice and purchase alcohol on site, make sure you have the correct change. Its packed in there and that cute bartender isn't going to bother fumbling around looking for your change in the dark, while customers get more riled up. No, they're keeping that extra $4 from you $10, and they're going to pretend that it never happened. Always bring correct change. and a small tip of course.

Lastly, always go with a group, especially if you're a female. How many times have you seen that guy who looks a little too old to be here, pulling off the wallflower pose while looking for his prey. Avoid this man at all costs. He's unshaven and no doubt carries every STD under the sky and then some. Hell, I've seen men in the 50s (no kidding) trying to pull off this routine. It's creepy as hell so avoid at all costs.

Another positive about going in a group (females) is think of all the photos you can take now. The look-away, the pouty lips, the middle-of-the-dancefloor etc. It also helps to dispel those creepy guys eying you up while you dance (see one and two). And guys, it's always easier to attract the opposite sex if your already dancing with one. So next time, bring along a group of friends, of both sexes, and you'll have a great time.

Follow my advice, drink responsibly, and you can't go wrong.

Until next time...

No comments:

Post a Comment