Monday, February 8, 2010

Super Bowl

As Twitter, Facebook and the rest of the blogging world (Myspace, what's that?) fill up with news of the Super Bowl, I'm going to make like a sheep and follow.

The Indianapolis Colts dominated the first quarter, strong on defense and aggressive on the offense. The Colts opened the scoring, with Matt Stover, the oldest ever Super Bowl player, kicking a field goal to put the Colts three up. With 36 seconds left on the clock in the first quarter, Manning threw a 19 yard pass, straight into the waiting hands of a double-covered Pierre Garcon. With the 2 point PAT kick good, the Colts were up 10-0 at the quarter.

Its seemed as though my predictions were to become true. My head said Colts but my heart said Saints. After a Colts dominated first quarter, the Saints looked like they were never going to recover. The second quarter brought the Saints two field goals, bringing the score to 10-6, with the Colts dominance fading.

I don't know what happened in the locker-room at half-time, I was too busy watching The Who, but the Saints came out roaring after half-time. After recovering the onside kick, the Saints dominated the game, scoring a touchdown, leading the game 13-10. The lead then changed hands back to the Colts yet again, but the momentum from the Saints was undeniable, and they were soon back on top.

The final quarter was an all Saints affair. Scoring two touchdowns, one of them an intercept from a Manning pass. The Saints convincingly won the game, 31-17.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Student Night

Every town or city has one. Its the midweek night when bars and clubs throughout drop their prices lower than the ratings for The Jay Leno Show, to drag in the gullible local students. And they come in droves, sucking down the cheap pitchers of nasty beer like it's their oxygen. But at least you don't feel too guilty, because who can refuse $2 shots of Jose Cuervo. It's like going grocery shopping: you only get what's on sale, not what you actually need.

I'm here to guide you through your way to a successful Student Night and hopefully dispel the inevitable "why did we do that" moment.

First of all, if you live anywhere near a college/university/kids-with-fake-ids then you're going to have a student night. And it is going to be packed, whether it's Orientation Week for the freshmen or finals for the seniors, you can guarantee that half of the university, along with the kids who got jobs and the one's holding fake ids, will be showing off their "best" moves. So ifwhen you hit the town, on your designated Student Night of course, prepared to be mobbed by some of the (questionably aged) sleaziest guys out there.

Secondly, always pre-game. Sure that shot of Cuervo may only be $2 but a shot is only 1.5 fl oz. But that bottle only costs $20 at the most, and makes enough for around 17 shots. That's saving you at least $14. And, hey, that makes more time for burning off those calories dancing, or taking kissy-face photos if you're of the female persuasion.

But, if you do decide to forgo my advice and purchase alcohol on site, make sure you have the correct change. Its packed in there and that cute bartender isn't going to bother fumbling around looking for your change in the dark, while customers get more riled up. No, they're keeping that extra $4 from you $10, and they're going to pretend that it never happened. Always bring correct change. and a small tip of course.

Lastly, always go with a group, especially if you're a female. How many times have you seen that guy who looks a little too old to be here, pulling off the wallflower pose while looking for his prey. Avoid this man at all costs. He's unshaven and no doubt carries every STD under the sky and then some. Hell, I've seen men in the 50s (no kidding) trying to pull off this routine. It's creepy as hell so avoid at all costs.

Another positive about going in a group (females) is think of all the photos you can take now. The look-away, the pouty lips, the middle-of-the-dancefloor etc. It also helps to dispel those creepy guys eying you up while you dance (see one and two). And guys, it's always easier to attract the opposite sex if your already dancing with one. So next time, bring along a group of friends, of both sexes, and you'll have a great time.

Follow my advice, drink responsibly, and you can't go wrong.

Until next time...