Hellalujah

After being drowned in piles of work over the past month, I found little reason to frequent my own blog. But that all changed when I stumbled across this little gem of information. Miley Cyrus is quitting music.

As I hear you scream out loud with delight, I must sugest that you refrain from letting out your feelings of ecstasy too soon. Miss Montana stated that she is going to quit the music industry but only after her next excuse for an album and perhaps only temporarily. But that is reason enough to celebrate for now. Think back to the days of the mid-2000s where Disney stars consisted of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. That time is nearing the corner yet again, so break out your party hats people cus its about to get wild in here in celebration of the downfall of Disney.

Miss Cyrus claims that "The more I make music that doesn't truly inspire me, the more I feel like I'm blending in with everyone else". I couldn't have said it better myself. Actually I can. You make terrible music -> tweens nad sororities listen to your terrible music -> demand for terrible music increases -> more terrible music is made. Demand and Supply. Go to university Miley. Or even high school. Or even under a rock would suffice.

My only suggestions to Miss Cyrus are: quit while you're ahead (you're not but plase take that gold nugget of advice and bank it) and quit being famous. Just stop. Quit your sad excuse for television shows, movies, whatever. Just quit. I don't care how you do it, just do it. Do. It.

Break out the Everclear cus its party time. And don't play Party in the U.S.A. Ever.

Until next time

Super Bowl

As Twitter, Facebook and the rest of the blogging world (Myspace, what's that?) fill up with news of the Super Bowl, I'm going to make like a sheep and follow.

The Indianapolis Colts dominated the first quarter, strong on defense and aggressive on the offense. The Colts opened the scoring, with Matt Stover, the oldest ever Super Bowl player, kicking a field goal to put the Colts three up. With 36 seconds left on the clock in the first quarter, Manning threw a 19 yard pass, straight into the waiting hands of a double-covered Pierre Garcon. With the 2 point PAT kick good, the Colts were up 10-0 at the quarter.

Its seemed as though my predictions were to become true. My head said Colts but my heart said Saints. After a Colts dominated first quarter, the Saints looked like they were never going to recover. The second quarter brought the Saints two field goals, bringing the score to 10-6, with the Colts dominance fading.

I don't know what happened in the locker-room at half-time, I was too busy watching The Who, but the Saints came out roaring after half-time. After recovering the onside kick, the Saints dominated the game, scoring a touchdown, leading the game 13-10. The lead then changed hands back to the Colts yet again, but the momentum from the Saints was undeniable, and they were soon back on top.

The final quarter was an all Saints affair. Scoring two touchdowns, one of them an intercept from a Manning pass. The Saints convincingly won the game, 31-17.

Student Night

Every town or city has one. Its the midweek night when bars and clubs throughout drop their prices lower than the ratings for The Jay Leno Show, to drag in the gullible local students. And they come in droves, sucking down the cheap pitchers of nasty beer like it's their oxygen. But at least you don't feel too guilty, because who can refuse $2 shots of Jose Cuervo. It's like going grocery shopping: you only get what's on sale, not what you actually need.

I'm here to guide you through your way to a successful Student Night and hopefully dispel the inevitable "why did we do that" moment.

First of all, if you live anywhere near a college/university/kids-with-fake-ids then you're going to have a student night. And it is going to be packed, whether it's Orientation Week for the freshmen or finals for the seniors, you can guarantee that half of the university, along with the kids who got jobs and the one's holding fake ids, will be showing off their "best" moves. So ifwhen you hit the town, on your designated Student Night of course, prepared to be mobbed by some of the (questionably aged) sleaziest guys out there.

Secondly, always pre-game. Sure that shot of Cuervo may only be $2 but a shot is only 1.5 fl oz. But that bottle only costs $20 at the most, and makes enough for around 17 shots. That's saving you at least $14. And, hey, that makes more time for burning off those calories dancing, or taking kissy-face photos if you're of the female persuasion.

But, if you do decide to forgo my advice and purchase alcohol on site, make sure you have the correct change. Its packed in there and that cute bartender isn't going to bother fumbling around looking for your change in the dark, while customers get more riled up. No, they're keeping that extra $4 from you $10, and they're going to pretend that it never happened. Always bring correct change. and a small tip of course.

Lastly, always go with a group, especially if you're a female. How many times have you seen that guy who looks a little too old to be here, pulling off the wallflower pose while looking for his prey. Avoid this man at all costs. He's unshaven and no doubt carries every STD under the sky and then some. Hell, I've seen men in the 50s (no kidding) trying to pull off this routine. It's creepy as hell so avoid at all costs.

Another positive about going in a group (females) is think of all the photos you can take now. The look-away, the pouty lips, the middle-of-the-dancefloor etc. It also helps to dispel those creepy guys eying you up while you dance (see one and two). And guys, it's always easier to attract the opposite sex if your already dancing with one. So next time, bring along a group of friends, of both sexes, and you'll have a great time.

Follow my advice, drink responsibly, and you can't go wrong.

Until next time...

Forget the Super Bowl

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few weeks, or, say, overseas, then you would inevitably be aware that the Super Bowl is due in around a week. I even bothered to blog about it, and you just know that if I bother to blog about it, then it must be noteworthy.

All that aside, let's continue on with the genre of sport. About a week ago (yes, I'm a lazy blogger, get over it) a story hit the headlines about a Kansas basketball coach who made a seemingly impossible basket. In an attempt to repeat a prank performed on CollegeHumor, students at a local Kansas high school blindfolded the women's basketball coach and promised tickets to the NCAA Final Four, if he made the half-court shot. In a stroke of luck, the shot was sunk and the crowd went wild for Coach Branstorm.

Of course, there were no tickets to be spoken of. Feeling guilty, the students pooled together enough money to purchase a gift card to a local restaurant.

Back to the water-cooler topic at hand: the Indianapolis Colts and New Orlean Saints could both use a Branstorm on their team. Or a Flutie. Or, you know, a Manning.

Bree vs. Manning, this Sunday 6:30PM EST (7:30 Central).

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/1004921/blindfolded-basketball-coach-prank-backfires

The Day the Nation Stops

It's nearly that time of year again folks. The day grown men cry tears of joy and happiness; the day people of all races, creeds or gender come together in solidarity against a common enemy. It is the only day of the year that you will see the streets of New York, Philadelphia or Dallas desertedand desolate. It is Super Bowl Sunday.

As the days push further into the new year, the nation quickly forgets the Christmases/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/New Year celebrations, to make way for the biggest day in American t.v. From mid-January (coinciding with the New Year Rule) the nation gradually becomes further and further obsessed with the national sport. The excitement becomes undeniably contagious during the days leading up to the conference playoffs. Water-cooler talk becomes more monopolized than North Korea.

It is such an important feature of the nation's psyche that it is classified as an National Security Event, subject to the same security measures as Presiden Brack Obama's Inauguration, or former-President Ronald Reagan's state funeral. And post-911 you just know you're chances of an rectal search just skyrocketed.

Then, on the first Sunday of February, the streets empty and the power bill goes through the roof. Welcome to the Super Bowl.

Close to 100 million people around the nation tune in to watch. Some for the sport, some for the half-time show, some for the eye candy and, increasingly, some for the ads.

It's the day that defines and fulfills the nation's love of sport, family and friends. Only mere days til the day the nation stops.

And the Genre is...

As the New Year inches closer and closer slowly becomes more distant a memory with each passing day, I become slightly more guilty about neglecting my promised year-end lists. I've decided to make up for it by knocking off perhaps the most wide berthed list: The Genre of the Decade.

And unlike some of my other lists out there, this has no specific order due to the subjectiveness of music.

First off the list, it's one of my more favorite genres: Indie. It's a genre most commonly associated with snobby hipsters, who refuse to have anything to do with anything which is known by more than 50 people. I am the first to admit that there are those indie loving hipsters who are so committed to anything indie that they will snob anything that is mainstream. To them I say, go live in your skinny, strange colored jeans, because that's not what I'm celebrating.

Indie has brought us artists such as Vampire Weekend, White Lies, Wilco, Bon Iver etc. That's why indie makes it into the top 5.

While you ponder the wisdom of my decision, I'll leave you with a little sample from Vampire Weekend's latest album.

New Year Ettiquette

Its the obligatory phrase that the world yells when the second hand hits the 12, and the year jumps forward. Its the phrase you hear for weeks after the big day, but just when is enough enough? When will the madness cease?

I must admit that I do get sick of hearing that casual phrase. I don't mind using it when i is applicable but February 8th is not New Years. I don't care if you haven't seen your friend since 2009 but you cannot still use that greeting. However, I admit that there is a significant grey area that needs to be addressed. Just when is using that phrase appropriate?

Today, I'm putting my foot down and defining the appropriate dates from which the phrase "Happy New Year" is applicable and acceptable to be used in conversation.

• Any day after Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa
• New Year's Eve
• New Year's Day

Here's where it starts to get a little tricky. By all means, you can use the greeting in early January, but when is it too late to continue the trend? I say the first half of January is in the clear; greet to your heart's content. But what about after the 14th. I propose a grace period lasting around a few days. Using the greeting on th 15th is partially acceptable, the 16th passable and the 17th endurable.

So it's acceptable to use the phrasing on:

• Up till, and including, January 14th
• 15th, 16th and 17th but use is not encouraged

The 18th is the day that the the greeting is entering its redundant phase. On this day, expect to be looked at strangely when using the greeting. On the 19th expect a few more weird looks and a shake of the head or two. But on the 20th, you're dead wrong. Congratulations, you have entered the black zone.

It is never acceptable to use the greeting past this date. That is unless you have amnesia. Or want it...

So there we go folks. Spread this post to your friends and family, to outline to them the proper New Year greeting etiquette.

Welcome back!

After nearly 2 months of absence from the blogosphere my non-existent following has most probably somehow managed to grow even smaller. So I guess I'm into negative numbers here. Nevertheless, welcome back and Happy New Year!

With the first decade of this millenia already out of the way, what is in store for us over the next year? More bad music, fame hogging wannabes, mysterious celebrity deaths? Well put your feet up because that's not what I'm going to be discussing today.

Instead, let's talk about New Year/New Year's Eve protocol. If you're like me, its the day before the biggest party night of the year/next year, and you have no firm plans. Sure there's Johnny's party, but what about Jordan's? But there's also Jamie's...

Just like Ohio you're the swing vote, with friends who are going to either of the parties telling you why "[Insert name here]'s party is going to be crazy". Well of course it's going to be an awesome party, it's NYE! You should be shot, gutted and hanged if you're hosting a boring NYE party.

Nevertheless, you fail to decide which party to attend because your best buddy Phil is going to Jamie's (because he's got a thing for her and New Year's is the perfect opportunity) but that Andrea, that one who got away, is going to Johnny's. 'Tis the curse of NYE.

Suddenly NYE hits, with you and a few other friends still undecided. Then out of nowhere, someone has the then brilliant idea of "Why don't we go to Johnny's, then Jordan's, then Jamie's. If the party sucks, we have an excuse and we can leave. Then we can go to the best one when midnight hits." But that's not how its going to turn out.

You'll plan to go to Johnny's first, at around 9. Stay for maybe 30-45 mins and then on to Jordan's. But here's what will really happen:

Its 8.25 pm and you're thinking "We should really get going now". So you call your friends who are doing the party-hop with you. You manage to get in contact with 2 out of the other 5 but figure that they must be getting ready. So you jump into the shower and 10 minutes later you've finished you're NYE transformation.

Its now 8.40 pm and you're feeling good. You try to contact your friends again, making contact with 2 of the 3 who didn't answer last time but unable to reach the others. The people who you do make contact with are still getting ready.

8.55 and you've only gotten back in contact with 1 more person, but you've yet to here anything from Jessie. The others haven't gotten back to you yet, so you send out a text message to your fellow party-hoppers saying "Leaving for Johnny's now. See you there".

Its 9.15 and you just arrived at Johnny's, albeit behind schedule. Tim, one of your good friends from college and a fellow party-hopper, comes in bumbling through the door a few minutes after you. After the obligatory "Hey! Happy new Year! How are you?"s are out of the way, and a drink or two, its already 9.35. None of your other friends who were supposed to party-hop with you have arrived. "We'll just wait another 5 minutes for them" you say to Tim, after trying to make contact with them yet again.

The 5 minutes tick by, with you glancing at the door so often that it looks like you have a tick. Just as you say your goodbyes (taking up valuable time) and are about to head out the door, Jules comes bursting through the door, already a bit tipsy.

"Hi! Happy New Year!" she says sloppily to you, while giving you a hug. You ask where everyone else is. It turns out 2 of them decided to skip Johnny's and go straight to Jordan's. All without telling you! That is, until you check your cell phone and realize that they sent you a text telling you the same thing 10 minutes ago. Cursing yourself, you ask Jules "What about Riley?". "Dunno" she manages to mumble before spotting someone else she knows and running off.

"We should wait for Riley" you say to Tim who nods in agreement. But 10 minutes pass and its already 9.50, yet you remain at the party waiting for Riley out of your years of friendship. Its 10.00 and there's no sign of Riley. "We can just skip Jordan's" you say to yourself, telling Tim the same, who agrees that you "can't ditch Riley!"

You head back into the thick of it and enjoy your last few hours of the decade. You soon forget about leaving to catch up the others, and its soon 11, with no sign of Riley. "He could be in a ditch somewhere" an inebriated Tim says to you, before both of you laugh it off. Precious time slips through your fingers and its soon the last half hour of the year. "We can still make it to Jamie's" Tim says to you. "Cool, gimme five minutes" you reply. "Sweet!" Time calls out before making his way through the crowd to catch up with an old high school friend.

All signs point to you never leaving, but you still insist that you're going to make it to Jamie's, even calling to reinforce the point directly to Jamie. But as we all know, you're never going to leave. You're going to spend you last few minutes here. The next day you wake up at noon in a drunken haze. You grab your phone to send an angry message to your friends who never turned up but see "15 new messages" glaring at you from your mobile. As you scroll through the messages (i.e. Where are you man!? or You at Jordan's yet?) you realize that your poor planning abilities have let you down yet again. Some were under the impression that it was Jordan's, Jamie's then Johnny's. Some thought it was Jordan's, Johnny's then Jamie's. And, like you, none of them could be bothered changing parties to find one another. As for Riley, he went to Jim's party, which you completely forgot about!

The conclusion: NEVER party-hop. It never fails to fail every time.

It's what I call the False Party Dilemma. If you have the choice of changing parties, you will consider these factors. Distance (D), cost (C), laziness (L), perceived fun/enjoyment (E) (including alcohol and/or other recreational drugs present), chance of sexual intimacy (S), friends attending (F) and ex-s present (Ex).

It is measured at the approximate values .8D + 1.8C + 1.6L + 1.8E + 5S + 1.1F + 1.0F = False Party Dilemma decision. As long as the party you are currently at outweighs the next best option, then you will stay where you are. Keep in mind that All of the variables are subjective, so Ex may be a positive or negative issue for different people.

Oh yeah, and unless its being held at a monastry, the present party will always win.

Study Break

Sorry folks, I'll be offline for a few days. In between parties and drinking, you just have to find time for study to get that "college experience" everyone keeps talking about...

That Guy

As soon as you enter a party/bar/room you instinctively have an intense feeling of hatred towards a certain someone, even though you've never so much as seen them before. The reason: He is That Guy.

He's the guy that always has to be the center of attention, constantly yelling out obscene comments in the hope that some poor soul agrees with his sense of humor. Well I'm sorry, but cussing out everyone in the room just isn't quite what it used to be.

For some strange reason, That Guy is oblivious to the fact that they are making an ass out of themselves. To the contrary, in fact. They believe that the rest of the room is laughing hysterically at the crazy antics of this gift from God.

"Any examples?" I hear you ask. Well sure! Kanye, Jon Gosselin, Kanye, Richard Heeney, Levi Johnston, Kanye, Michael Lohan, Kanye...you get the picture.

Well folks, I have a new hatred for That Guy. Not long ago, a group of friends and I were watching an all important football game. We had wings, fries and drinks, in a room light up only by the plasma screen dotted around the room. All was well in the world of sport. It was nearly half-time, my team ahead of course, and That Guy had yet to make an appearance. Well the second half began and out of nowhere He appeared. Swearing at the players through the screen, excusable you'd think but not when he cheers for the opposing side, merely because the rest of the bar were supporting the home side. First mistake and second mistake, douche.

There were a mere 20 minutes left on the clock, and my homeside were blistering in attack. Unfortunately they were unable to connect, due to some rather impressive defense from the opposition. Every opportunity that my team took, the bar would fill with silence, waiting in anticipation and hope. Somehow, the opposition always managed to barely hold on. That's when Mr. Douche decided to play the That Guy card again.

"You suck! *******" were some of the more family friendly comments. This was no fan in rage at his own team's inability to convert play into points. No, it was That Guy trying to win an award for improv stand-up. At every tense moment of the game, the bar would fill with silence, apart from the obligatory "Get off the field! You F****ng suck!" from That Guy. By the end of the game, we all wanted to pound him.

Unfortunately for Douchey-Douche bag, we claimed a well deserved victory that night. And as soon as we did, the place was suddenly filled with a vacuum of space, as people rushed to the exits in order to celebrate somewhere where That Guy wasn't.

Well folks, I'm sorry to say that that task is impossible. Wherever you go, That Guy will follow. Wherever you stand, he stands. Wherever you party, he parties.

So next time you see That Guy, give him a good punch from the rest of us. And another for all the other douchey acts that he is bound to engage in.

Until next time...

P.S.

Don't laugh at the players name douche bag. It just makes everyone wanna give you a pnch in the face.

Go And Hug A Tree (I Love It)

I don't usually catch many episodes of South Park but every once and a while there's an episode that goes viral. It becomes the new water-cooler topic of the day, or the vodka handle topic if you're in college. There was the Chewbacca defense, Vote or die and the gay fish. Now, Trey and Matt have blessed us with Whale Whores. Enjoy.

Halloween '09 - America's Favorite Holiday

After almost a week away from the blogosphere, I have returned to give you your next fix of random musings.

First off the bat, Halloween '09. No that's not Michael Jackson/Patrick Swayze returned from the dead and multiplied a million times over. And no, that's not Kanye drinking all your alcohol and obnoxiously abusing every female that walks past. Its Halloween!

The only night of the year when persons of the female persuasion can go out in nothing but lingerie, or less if they so desire, without anyone being able to call them a skank/whore/slut. Its that day where everyone gets a free pass to do/wear anything their heart tells them.

Gone are the days of roaming the streets knocking on doors for candy. Instead we're roaming the streets, blind drunk, looking for the next party to crash. So much has changed since our innocent eyes saw Halloween as a day of candy and costumes. Except for the costumes that is. You can guarantee that if it fit when you were five, it can fit when you're 20. In fact, it may have a little too much fabric, so go ahead and cut that bottom inch off that dress Snow White.

From this:

To This:

And, believe it or not, everyone thought she was prude because her costume covered up too much.

In the mean time, I'll let you sleep off your alcohol induced comas that you're all bound to be still in.

Until next time...

The Early Bird

Like a lot of you out there, I'm at that time in my life where getting up is more of an option than a choice. It's a luxury that we all envy when we don't have it, and abuse when we do have it. But, amidst the great relaxer that is sleep, there lies a curse. You know what I'm talking about. It's just gone past noon and your eyes slowly begin to open, taking in the world that's been awake for the past few hours. You groggily contemplate getting up or lying in bed, hopelessly trying to fall back asleep to no avail. After a few minutes of the latter, you decide that its finally time for the world to see your hungover face again. You take a shower, but feel lifeless and unenergized for the remainder of the day.

Therein lies the curse that is the sleep-in. It seems to me that the more you oversleep, the more tired you feel throughout the day. Catch 22, sucks doesn't it? Well suck it up! Not everyone can stay out partying till 3 am, on a Tuesday might I add, only calling it quits because you don't want to miss that all important human psychology class the next day.

Today, unlike all of you out there, I got up at the break of dawn. But sadly it was not by choice. It wasn't even one of those "Ugh, I have to go to [insert lame class here]". No, ladies and gentlemen, it was my alarm clock playing a cruel and unusual punishment on me, in retaliation for all those years of me slamming my hand down on that snooze button I suspect. I set my alarm clock for a reasonable 6.30 (yes am, and don't ask why) and all was well when I got up at 6.30 the next day to take a shower. At least, that's what I thought. Little did I know that it was merely 5.30! My clock had played an elaborate prank on me!

Needless to say I was not happy, and could not fall back to back to sleep because i had already taken a shower. Surprisingly, I was feeling energetic and upbeat, especially since I had only fallen asleep a meager 5 hours beforehand. And we all know that students need at least 12 to survive. While I'm not suggesting you all get up at 5.30, I do think that you should all consider waking up just a little bit earlier every once and a while. Who knows...maybe, like me, you will find yourself with more energy.

Vindication

Some of you may have thought my previous criticism on Miley Cyrus was a little harsh. Some may have thought that it was perfectly justified. While others may have just thought that i was simply wasting calories by even talking about her. Well to those of you that chose the latter two, I agree. And to those of you who were firmly in the Disney camp, well I'm sorry, but the world says otherwise.

In a recent poll conducted by AOL, 42% of the 44, 594 tweens polled voted Miley Cyrus the "Worst Celeb Influence". Miss Montana beat out competition from Britney Spears (at least she has an excuse...mental breakdown anyone?) with 27%, Kanye West with 19% and Vanessa Hudgens and Shia LeBeouf with 9% and 3% respectively. But in all fairness, what kind of kid is expected to know how to spell "Shia LeBeouf"? Even I had to Wikipedia it.

Seriously, who would look up to this?

Remind you of someone?

And believe me, that's one of the better photos that I could find.

Sorry Kanye, but you'll have to do better than interrupt someone's moment of glory to claim this award. Which was voted the Most Socking Moment of 2009 by 71%. On a related note, congratulations to Taylor Swift who was voted the best Female Artist, and yes, Miley Cyrus was up for this award also.

Stars from Twilight swept several of the other categories, with Selena Gomez taking out both the Best Celeb Influence with 30% over Swift's 28%, and the Favorite Female Television Star by a landslide.

Oh yeah, just in case you live under a rock and are surprised by the results when you hit the link, vampires are oh-so-hot right now in the tween world. Well, everywhere actually.

Timeout

I'd like to take time out from the obligatory end of years lists, and my busy life atm, to plug the new song by Weezer and Lil Wayne (aka Dwayne Michael Carter Jr, thank you Wikipedia). That's right Weezy + Weezer! And you now what that equals? Well they Can't Stop Partying of course! It's a shameless, embarrassing tune for both of these artists, but it its oh-so catchy and is sure to get your soon-to-be-frozen feet moving to that beat. It's got all the makings of an underground dance hit. It's catchy, got great bass, it's pop with just a dash of rap (so hot right now) and the lyrics are terrible, something a child could come up with. That is how you make a semi-hit that people only really listen to in a party or club. Well done Weezy-er (see what I did there), you have a song that is sure to make its rounds on the turntables this fall/winter.

The End is Nigh

As we draw closer and closer to the end of the first decade of the new millennia, it is only fit to list what this inaugural decade was about. But first off, give yourselves a pat on the back ad a round of applause, you survived the predicated Armageddon, or apocalypse, I'm not to fussed. That means one of two things: you're awesome or you're evil and deserve to suffer for eternity. I prefer the former myself.

Enough with the self-congratulatory rituals, let's get on with this list....after the break. Sorry folks, but my studies await, so until next time.

The Year of the...

Seeing as how I've already listed the five worst songs of 2009, it makes sense to list the five best songs of 2009. Well suck it up, because I don't make a lot of sense. Instead, I present to you the artists who defined this year (aka Most Influential Artists). This list is going against the norm..."why" I hear you ask. Well, my dear friends, it's because it only consists of four artists, not the usual five, ten, 20 or 40 (who decided those amounts anyway). Welcome to the revolution of lists:

• Disney

As much as I politely dislike Miley and the crew, it would be impossible to not include her on this list. This year was the year tweendom truly took off. Disney stars such as Miley, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, even the Jo-Bros. Well down tweenies, you are number 4 on the list.

• = Taylor Swift
• = Black Eyed Peas

Who can ignore the record breaking Boom Boom Pow or I Gotta Feeling. With millions of songs sold this year, and a trail of broken records in their wake, the Black Eyed Peas enter the list at second equal. This year has also been a fairytale story for Taylor Swift, riding the success of last year's release Love Story, Taylor took the pop world by storm, releasing You Belong With Me. Kanye's outburst at the VMAs only guaranteed Taylor further success and reaffirmed her good girl image.

What list would be complete without...

1. Michael Jackson

Michael's place in this year's most influential artists was a shoo-in but I ad a difficult time deciding on his placement. But I couldn't ignore the posthumous media frenzy surrounding him and the record breaking sales of several of his albums and singles. He truly influenced the recording industry for the better and the fact that he was loved by so many people around the world was the deciding factor. If Taylor or one of the B.E.P.s passed away would there have been as big a media hype around their deaths? Would their albums and singles break records and reenter music charts around the world and take up the majority of the top 40? Congrats Michael...

That was this year's Most Influential Artists awards, stay tuned for more.

Welcome to Rock Bottom

I've decided to put you out of the misery you must have been suffering, waiting in anticipation ever since my last post. Well the time has come to release my first of many lists. Since we save the best for last, its only appropriate that we start with the worst songs of 2009...hell the worst of the decade.

5. Hoedown Throwdown - Miley Cyrus

Was this a serious attempt at a single? Seems like a parody Weird Al would of put together of an imaginary attempt by Disney/Miley of merging country with hip-hop. I mean "Countrify it"!!! No! I REFUSE. And don't get me started on the rap Miley released about Twitter...

4. Crack a Bottle - Eminem

"So crack a bottle, let your body waddle" really? REALLY? No Eminem, this is not "the moment you've all been waiting for".

3. The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I swear, if i ever have to listen to this cat-screeching, terrorist-attack-on-your-ears excuse for a song, I'll go postal.

2. We Made You - Eminem

Even the Palin bashing can't save you Marshall. You're a year too late for that one.

1. Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

Another mind-numbing, generic, meaningless song, with the Disney factory stamp of approval. Ugh...Miley.

Special Mention

1. Good-bye Twitter - Miley Cyrus

It's "Goodbye" FYI, Miley. A search of "good-bye"on the Oxford dictionary returns this result. And your name comes up with that red underline thing! It's not even a name! And if you're going to delete an account, don't make a rap about it. No one cares! Let those 2 million lemmings cry about it. This article sums up my feelings beautifully.

You may have noticed that out of the thousands of songs available to be selected for this list, it only consisted of two artists. Well, let's just lay down the criteria for selection:

• Must have been released within 2009; OR
• Must have reached its height of popularity/infamy within 2009;OR

As you can see, I am not the biggest fan of Miss Cyrus. I wouldn't even pirate one of her songs. She is an untalented, bad role model, auto-tune Disney Barbie. I mean, if you want to be a role model to tween girls, don't pose topless in Vanity Fair! Don't take photos that will cause controversy if they were to be leaked! As if that wasn't bad enough, don't turn up to the Teen Choice Awards in shorts that could be mistaken for underwear and whatever you do, DON'T pole dance in front of millions of tween girls. That is, unless you aim to be Hef's next girlfriend, which wouldn't surprise me, frankly.

BTW, "frankly" I wonder what frank ever did to get his name put down like that in history.

All in all, Miley is just another product of the Disney factory. She's what economists call a demerit good. She's overproduced, over consumed and socially undesirable.

Let the Lists Begin

We are approaching that time of year again. The time when bloggers, t.v./radio stations, newspapers and all forms of media release their end of year lists. Each issuer of the list thinks that their list is the most important and only correct list of of the millions of others out there. And this year isn't just any ordinary list, oh no. We're celebrating the end of a decade (thats ten years, and you call yourself a college student), so its gonna be a big one. I'm just thankful that in 1999 my young, prepubescent and carefree mind wasn't aware of the frenzy that is the end of year list. It must have been madness. So, to preempt the results of every other list out there, I will produce my own, no-nonsense round-up of the previous year, over the next few posts. Hell, even the previous decade if I can be bothered.

Without further ado, let the listing begin.

This Is It

With the recent posthumous release of the song "This Is It", sung by the late Michael Jackson, the hype around his life and works has kicked up ever so slightly, though not to the same Everest heights that we were exposed to 4 months ago. Since this blog was still an egg in the world wide womb at the time of his death, now is the right time to pay tribute to the man himself. Like him or not, just like George Bush or Mahatma Gandhi, you can't deny the huge effect he had on the world. His music was blasted around the world for 45 years, breaking down the walls of racism, discrimination, cultural and generational barriers. He was the first black artist that received regular airplay on MTV, albeit only after his record company threatened MTV for not playing his songs because of his race. Ironically, without Michael, MTV would never have survived its infant years, nor would Michael have the huge impact that he did had MTV not existed.

His music touched the hearts of billions around the world. From East Berlin to the slums of Brazil, when Michael sung, the world listened. The reason why his music was so universally appealing was because of the cross-genre style of his music. From slow ballads to rock songs, hip-hop to dance, R&B, pop, you name it, Michael mastered it. It was not only his music which held the world in awe, but also his dance moves. The world had idols before Michael, such as Presley or Buddy Holly, but his moves mesmerized and hypnotized the world, holding us in a trance while he danced away. He glamorized the Moonwalk, a move that will forever be attributed to the King of Pop. Michael's revolutionizing of the music video into an art-form, a short film of sorts, allowed his audience to watch Michael twirl, grope and dance across our screens and hearts.

Looking beyond his contributions to music, Michael's contributions to the world can be seen through his philanthropic work. Michael contributed millions upon millions of dollars for tens of different charities, even setting up his own Heal the World Foundation. Michael funded these philanthropic acts through the hundreds of millions of albums sold, making him the highest selling artist of all time. Michael is in no danger of losing this title with the upcoming release of the This Is It album to accompany the film.

While the day Michael died, might not have been the day music died, it certainly was the day the world stood still to pay tribute to the man who revolutionized the world of music.